My Immortal
by gooberbot
Summary: A stormy night gets hearts beating and tears falling. This is a song fic to the Evanescence song. The warning is for violence and descriptive romance. A bit depressing, but what do you expect? Not exactly a happy song is it?


O.K. please don't kill me if I've totally screwed up the song fic concept. My friend Sakinu and I just heard this song one day and we thought "What a perfect music video this would be to Case Closed (sry. I live in the states peeps)" And neither of us has the technical knowledge to make the music video (though she has made a web site). So I heard of song fics and (someone please agree with me on this) this would still be the perfect song.

Note: I do not own Case Closed/Detective Conan. That's that one dude's job. Nor do I own this song nor the former band Evanescence. Honestly I don't really like Evanescence, I just love this song.

This is the story

_This is the thoughts (It's usually pretty easy to figure out whose)_

**This is the song lyrics.**

Song fic – My Immortal by Evanescence

By strawbeby

Conan Edogawa sat in his room, underneath the pile of sheets that the Moore's had given to him, listening to the storm outside. Usually he loved this kind of weather because it had always reminded him of this good mystery or that clever murder that he solved. Tonight, though, was different. Tonight Rachel was out late with friends and he knew that the roads were bad and lightning was striking everywhere. He would have gone with her, but she insisted otherwise, telling him that there was a marathon of "his favorite show" Yaiba on, and he would "hate himself for missing it". _Like I care about that stupid kids show. I only occasionally watch it so that I don't look like a total dork in front of Amy, Mitch, and George. _It was getting late though and he knew that it should be time for Rachel to come back.

**I'm so tired of being here**

**Suppressed by all my **

**Childish fears**

"Hi, I'm home!" Rachel Moore yelled into her house. Noticing her dad sleeping dead to the world on the couch she called out, "Conan?"

_Finally!_ Conan thought. "Rachel!" he yelled as he ran into the living room and clung himself in a hug around her waist.

Rachel grinned and looked down at the tiny boy. "Isn't someone happy to see me?"

Conan did some quick thinking and replied, "I'm scared of the storm. Do you mind if I stay in your room tonight?" _Ha! An age appropriate answer that if taken the right way would get me a night alone in the same room as her. I am so clever._

Rachel smiled subtly as she looked into the boy's eyes to see the real fear, though she thought it was the reason that he had told her, not because she was out late. She said, "I don't think that would be a problem. Storms usually scare me, too."

So, Conan dragged his blankets and pillows into the seventeen year old girl's room and arranged them next to her bed. Soon they were both ready to sleep and Rachel turned the lights out.

But sleep is not one thing that will come easy tonight.

Conan stared at the rain splattered window that was lit up by the street light outside. _If only I could be here as Jimmy. To see Rachel through Jimmy's eyes. Not have to sneak around my feelings that aren't expected of "someone of my age." If only Conan Edogawa would disappear back into the eternity that he came from. And no matter what I choose to do, even if I decide to risk Rachel's life by telling her who I really am, she'll never be able to see beyond the eyes of the child that she has cared for this past year. Even if they are the same as Jimmy's._

**And if you have to leave**

**I wish that you would just leave**

**Cause your presence still lingers here**

**And it won't leave me alone**

When I return. If I return? Will she ever be able to forgive me? Will the Jimmy that she sees now as the one that she loves and is on that "big case" change when she discovers that I've been here all along. Knowing that I've hurt her by deliberating lying just to save our skins is enough already to kill me. Things will never be the same. Her love will change. I know mine has.

These wounds won't seem to heal 

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time**

**Cannot erase**

Conan looked from the window pane over to Rachel. _If it hurts me this much then it has got to be torture for her._ Absentmindedly he rose from his bedding then sat on the edge of her bed. Thinking that she would already be asleep he brushed a strand of hair from her face. He saw that in her sleep she was silently crying. _Rachel..._

He wanted so badly to embrace her his hardest, let her know that everything would be alright, let her know that Jimmy is here and she'll never be hurt again. But she would be. If he told her that, she would be in more danger than ever not to be emotionally hurt by Jimmy, but by a gunshot wound, a poisoned drink, or a slit throat by a mysterious man in black.

**When you cried I'd **

**Wipe away all of your tears**

**When you screamed I'd **

**Fight away all of your fears**

Conan grabbed Rachel's hand to stop him from doing anything else. _Jimmy you are such a jerk. Rachel is crying right in front of your own stupid face and all you can think of is holding yourself back._

Conan looked back into Rachel's unknowing face and shot his thoughts her way. _Rachel, don't worry. I love you and I would never let anything ever happen to you. If only the pain wouldn't be pain, then maybe this wouldn't hurt._

**And I held your hand**

**Through all of these years**

**But you still held**

**All of me**

When Rachel woke up a half of an hour later she found Conan curled up beside her in her bed. She smiled down at the boy with tear glazed eyes as she heard the rain and the thunder surround the city outside.

She rested her head back down into her pillow and then recalled her dream. It was one that visited her often these days and haunted her restless nights.

It started out with a memory of hers. It was the first day of her and Jimmy's freshman year in high school. They only had one period together, and that was lunch. Serena was taking an extra week for a Caribbean vacation. The whole day she felt that she had been persecuted, though not up front. The year before her Mom and Dad announced their legal separation the day of the big judo tournament, and though Rachel went, she had gotten her butt kicked from being so distracted. Since she didn't want to tell anyone what happened, that night she had a total of 32 nasty phone messages from people at her school. The day before had been the last day of the school year and despite the 2 month break in between, her classmates were still ticked.

Anyway, the whole day, no one would speak to her calling her names like loser and "No more Moore" She arrived in the lunch room to see not one friendly face. Rachel sat at a table by herself and silently ate her lunch. Once she looked up and saw a colossal, greasy, glob of macaroni and cheese aimed straight for her.

Rachel braced herself for the impact. She would have fought back, but then she'd be blamed for a food fight and she thought that she'd just let them take their frustration out. But no nasty glob ever made it to her face. She opened her eyes and saw Jimmy standing in front of her, macaroni everywhere in his hair. He turned around and gave her a smile. "Hey, Rachel. I don't know if it's really a great idea to try and play catch with macaroni and cheese instead of a baseball."

They left the lunch room and Rachel helped Jimmy clean himself off. When they were almost finished Jimmy said, "I never knew you to be one to let people walk all over you Rach. You'd usually just throw a couple of kicks their way and let them feel your wrath."

Rachel started rubbing his hair dry more vigorously than before, "I'm not always some rough and tumble girl, Jimmy. They are mad and I can't change it until they want to change it."

"Easy, Rach!" He said in response to the towel. "I just meant that it's admiring how you are changing by accepting them." Jimmy stood back up straight again, and smiled at her, with his hair all wet and messy, and his uniform having a slight stain from the cheese on it.

**You used to captivate me**

**By your resignating light**

**Now I'm bound by the life**

**You left behind**

Rachel blushed as she accepted the compliment, and as she noticed for the first time ever how cute he was, with his hair usually a mess. She had been constantly asked before if Jimmy and her was going out, but she was always playing the role of his best friend and looking at the faulted Jimmy. Now, though, she saw a Jimmy who seemed to be able to change her with one compliment, one that changed her knees to mush and heart to explode with pounding, one who she cared what she was in front of.

She then saw the dream before her as she had never before. Jimmy took a small step toward Rachel, though it seemed like a world in the deserted kitchen that they were in. But she wasn't afraid of him. Her mind started coaxing his moves, willing his arm to lift and brush a strayed strand of her dark brown hair out of her eyes, then locking her periwinkle blue eyes onto his deep midnight blue ones. Rachel felt their head get closer and closer until she felt the soft brush of their lips. Rachel inhaled his scent. Jimmy smelt a little cheesy from the incident, but she could still smell the scent of his deodorant and soap from the morning through the cheesy smell. Their lips met again, this time harder than the last, each pair hungering for more.

But then, Rachel heard a loud crack ring through the air. She felt the person that she had embraced bend over with a sharp pain in his back. She opened her eyes to see Jimmy staring not at the one that he had just kissed, but over her shoulder in a blank endless stare.

**Your face it haunts**

**My once pleasant dreams**

**Your voice it chased away**

**All the sanity in me**

"Jimmy?" Rachel asked. He didn't reply but fell slowly to his knees and then laid on the ground, belly up.

Rachel felt her eyes start to brim with tears. "Jimmy?!" She yelled this time, thinking that she could have the same power as before, to will him to move, to will him to tell her that he's going to be fine. She dropped to her knees in hope, honest, wholesome, pure hope, that he would obey her will. Instead his eyes dropped their blank stare and focused on her.

"Rachel," Jimmy said quietly. He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but found that he couldn't. He did lift his left hand to touch her face. "Rachel I'm still here. I'm going to come back. You'll see."

Rachel couldn't hold the tears back anymore. "Jimmy..." As she clang to the one hand of his with both of hers, the tears flowed out of her and fell onto his shirt in a way that she thought maybe they could heal the great bloody mess that was already there. _He can't. Why is this..? Jimmy, don't...please don't._ She cried with all the energy her body would allow her to.

"Rachel," Jimmy said, just as quietly but with more confidence. "Don't cry. Can't you see? I'm right here. I always have been. The only thing that is the matter with me is that you are crying over me. I can't stand to see you cry, Rach."

She couldn't stop, though. He was gone. He'll never come back. She'll never see Jimmy. Ever. Again.

Rachel opened her tear-filled eyes to get a last look at him. But instead of looking down into his face, she looked up to see the two men in black that they had seen that day at the amusement park. The ones that Jimmy ran after. The ones who did this to him. In hand of the tallest one, the one with the blonde hair, the one with the sharp face was a gun. Not just a gun, either. The gun. The one that did this to Jimmy.

"You selfish, worthless, spineless, jerks!" Rachel cried out, with more fury than she had ever felt in her life. "You come back here, and fix this! HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO HIM YOU CRUEL, SLIMEY, COLD, THUGS! YOU COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW AND GIVE JIMMY BACK TO ME, YOU FOOLISH, DIMWITTED, PATHETIC EXCUSES FOR HUMAN BEINGS!!! COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!!!"

**These wounds won't seem to heal**

**This pain is just too real**

**There's just too much that time**

**Cannot erase**

But they were gone. Everything was gone. She was all alone. No Jimmy. No Conan. No Dad. No Serena. Just Rachel and the cold, cruel world. And she cried. Jimmy was gone. And there was nothing she could do to bring him back.

Another crack. This time Rachel woke from her dream to find that Conan had fallen off of her bed and laid at the side of it, sound asleep. She gave a tender look, only wondering for a moment if she had accidentally pushed him off.

Rachel had been yelled at so many times by Serena to just move on. To get over him. Because he'll never come back. And when he does? Jimmy will just leave her again. Because that's what he does. He is a detective. He will go when he's needed where he's needed, regardless who he is leaving behind, or for how long. It's in his blood. That's what his dad did. That's what he'll do. He'll just leave you.

No matter what happened to her, though, no matter how long he was gone, no matter how he left, no matter how scared out of her mind he put her, Rachel just couldn't stop caring for Jimmy. She tried. Believe me, she's tried to her wit's end, going out of her mind crazy to just stop and not worry about him. But he won't leave. Rachel will cry herself to sleep a million times, and still will never stop loving Jimmy. He could not call her for years, and though the flame will shrink, it will still be there. Stress will have worked a toll on her health, wrinkles everywhere, and gray hairs five years early, but she will always have a devotion of love for Jimmy.

**When you cried I'd **

**wipe away all of your tears**

**When you screamed I'd **

**Fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hand**

**Through all of these years**

**But you still held**

**All of me**

Rachel let her thoughts drift toward her unconscious, though she wasn't going to go to sleep after that nightmare. Because what if it was true? What if he were lying somewhere in a cold, muddy ditch just waiting for someone to discover him so he could just move on? What if he was shot and staggering to make it to a phone to call for an ambulance, and she not there to help him? Her mind went back to the black abyss that she was in before she had been woken by the thunder, though she wasn't asleep.

Suddenly there was Jimmy. "Rachel, this is my job," he said. "This is what I do. Whether you like it or not, there are times when I have to be gone." The Jimmy who was so dedicated to his work and what he did. The one who would put himself in the path of danger before letting someone else get hurt right in front of him. The one who was so confident that being a detective was the right choice for him. The one who was so clever, never minding a bit that others regarded him as stealing their jobs as a detective. The one she felt she could tell anything to and he would take every word as serious as a detail in his precious job.

The Jimmy who knew exactly what she had been up to whenever he called her, but she never got the reassurance of his presence.

**I tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone**

**But though you're still with me**

**I've been alone all along**

Rachel's mind floated out of the cheerless state and absentmindedly lifted Conan from the floor back onto the bed. He had looked so cold, only taking one of his puny sheets with him onto the floor, and she needed some comfort after those depressing thoughts.

She put Conan into her arms like a big teddy bear and stroked his hair. Her hand fell onto something wet and she then realized that he had been crying. _Well at least there won't be only me_ Rachel thought. Rachel figured that the storm had probably scared him, being so big and loud that the rain that she was hearing at the moment sounded like a herd of elephants trampling across the roof. She also realized how much it affected her, knowing that this little boy was crying in his sleep.

_I don't know how, but he's become so close to me._ Rachel bent her arm down from its resting place above her head to clear his face of the shed tears. His fear was piercing her heart. She could feel her own self wanting to give another good cry over his grief. And she did.

**When you cried I'd **

**wipe away all of your tears**

**When you screamed I'd **

**fight away all of your fears**

**And I held your hand**

**Through all of these years**

But you still held 

**All of me**

Conan woke when Rachel had been stroking his hair in her arms for a couple of minutes. But instead of feeling uncomfortable, he stayed where he was, knowing that it was comfort to Rachel. _I just hate making you cry Rach._

So that was my fanfic. How did you like it? Please tell me in my review section (see bottom left). If you wish to steal my idea about music video then go right ahead. Just let me know when you are finished. For those few who have read my other uncompleted story "What the Tide Brings In" I appologize for this stupid writers block on **that** story. So please tell me if I totally screwed up (cept for starting half of the sentences with And and But. I did that on purpose).


End file.
